the only side of me she sees is my anger
i don't have the fun loving, sit down, drink tea relationship
i am not my sister.
she doesn't see how highly of speak of her to my friends
i rarely tell her how much i admire her.
and love her.
how great a mom she has been.
she brings out a rage in me by asking me to do the simplest tasks.
i think i only get angry because i am not more like her.
i don't like myself.
i don't want to wash the dishes.
i've been sad for a week.
no one's noticed. probably because i'm always in my room.
i rarely see my family, so how could they?
i am a stranger in their house,
an extended family member they see on important holidays.
or when i'm angry.
asking me to clean a pot should not be this hard for her.
but it shouldn't be hard for me to clean a pot.
it's not laziness.
i don't know what it is.
i don't want to be angry at my mom anymore.
i didn't even feel angry.
i was just yelling.
i just didn't want to clean the pot.
anger.
i don't think thats the right word.
when i'm driving.
when i'm cleaning.
when i'm talking to my mom.
i can't be annoyed, just "angry"
i can't yell at my dad anymore.
he worked so hard to stop yelling at me.
but is it fair to yell at my mom instead?
she never yells back.
she's so tired.
so am i.
i don't want to be angry with my mom anymore.
Veritas 